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Micah's avatar

Random thoughts as I read through.

I think your action scenes need to be more visceral, more descriptive, and fatal. Make the combat tense with brief short sentences. And I don’t know man — it was difficult for me to feel these scenes as sometimes I’d get lost in the sci-fi jargon.

I think you need to cut the fat of some scenes. Shorter. More intense.

That being said — I don’t read a lot of sci-fi so I don’t think I’m not really the target audience.

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